walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Pooping to opera.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
