i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
