Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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