Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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