This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
did you just send me my own nude
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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