we have pet lesbian snakes
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So apparently I’m into choking now
I know her cup size but not her name....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
