Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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