So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
