Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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