I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
