No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
