so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
