? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
