Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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