she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
