Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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