i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Define "chronic" masturbator.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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