new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
