Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
