You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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