real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
