google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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