just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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