i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
