i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
