i would punch a child for taco bell
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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