You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
