I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
