Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
