she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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