That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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