I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My feet surprised me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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