whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think i have two assholes
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
