when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
