Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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