some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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