God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
