But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
