Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
