I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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