Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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