ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
