...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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