Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
