If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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