So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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