So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
