It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
