Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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