Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
