In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
