Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
