I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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