is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
