You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
the day after is always just damage control
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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