So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
