Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
