So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
