I cannot find my penis.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
